Actual instructions on the labels of consumer goods
1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside."
3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
"Do not turn upside down."
6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts."
13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
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cyberstranger
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"You may deceive all the people part of the time, and part of the people all the time, but not all the people all the time." Abraham Lincoln, 16th US President
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